Being An Adolescent

I've had this conversation with people many times: "If you could be 16 again, would you go back?" That's a difficult question...

Adolescence was not easy on many of us, although it usually got easier after the braces came off and the zits backed-off a little bit). For me, it was often a boxing match between my parents, my desire to be independent, and my wild boyfriend who as hard as he tried couldn't pull the wool over Mom and Dad's eyes.

I think the struggle for identity is one of the most difficult struggles in life, because as long as you are a little bit lost everything is thrown off balance. I myself did not hang around with one particular group, but rather I bounced around among them all. Many times I felt a little lost at sea, totally anchorless, while both my sisters were having the times of their lives.

I did not have the time of my life in high school, unfortunately, and everyday I was ready to move on. And usually I can see that in certain young people's eyes as well. That old soul, a little bitter, a little sarcastic, a little outside the mainstream. Where do people like that come from? Wherever it is, they usually end up in the arts. The arts: where self-dealing and self-reflexivity are absolutely required. Where whatever is outside your brain, your world, can be selectively chosen to be incorporated while the rest of that 'stuff' is...left out.  I think that's what a lot of high school students--the "art kids"--are attracted to in art classes. It's a special time of day where they are asked to please step outside the box. Please run around outside the box, social rules be damned.

At least, that's what it was for me.

I think adolescence is interesting from a teacher standpoint because it is probably the time in life when one felt everything, all at once, more strongly than one ever will again. The teacher can see it in nearly every student, that awareness yet total lack of understanding that everyone really does feel the same, the world is not ending and the sky is not falling (although for some, it truly does). There is such an incredible energy in an adolescent, and it's usually directed at a million things at once, not all of them good. To me, working with those students feels so much more purposeful and layered than working with younger students, who have different needs. I think the connections made, though rare as they may be, are so solid and so important for both involved.

I know this from experience, as I had a very close teacher when I was in high school. He was a math teacher to us all, but to me specifically he was a friend and a guide during a difficult time for me. One day he offered to lend me an ear, and for a long time I would wander into his classroom after school and just talk with him for a long time. Thinking back now, that seems like an odd thing for me to do, as I'm not typically the type to really open up to someone. I guess that's living proof of the importance that a teacher can play in an adolescent's life. I know we all hear that a lot, and most of the time in goes in one ear and out the other. Until you actually remember a time in middle or high school when you felt so cared for by a teacher. Sometimes it takes a few years to really hit you, but eventually it does.

I guess my question is: Why do some students never make a strong connection with a teacher?